Budget Plan

dumpster-diving

 

 

Monthly Income from All Sources Equals:  _____ $

 

 

Regular Monthly Expenses:

 

Rent or Mortage

Property Taxes

Property Maintenance

Heating

Electricity

Water & Sewer

Garbage Collection

Telephone

Internet

Cable T.V.

Postage

Vehicle Payment or Bus Pass & Taxi Service

Gas, Oil, Windshield Washer

Parking

Clothing

Laundry Wash & Dry

Detergent & Conditioner

Household Chemical Products

Grooming & Hygiene Supplies

Gifts

Entertainment & Recreation

Newspapers & Magazines

Hobbies

Pet Food & Supplies

Drinks & Snacks

Restaurant Meals & Tips

Tobacco, Alcohol, & Other Drugs

Lottery Tickets, Bingo, & Other Gambling

School Supplies & Fees

Alimony & Child Support

Medicine

Groceries (Meat, Dairy, Fruit & Vegetables, Condiments, Prepared Foods)

 

 

Annual & Long Term Expenses to Save For:

 

Medical

Glasses

Dental

Education (Self & Children)

Vehicle Purchase

Vehicle Insurance

Property Purchase

Property & Belongings Insurance

Property Maintenance & Appliance Replacements

Gifts (Birthdays, Weddings, Graduations, Festive Holidays)

Vacations

Income Tax

Retirement

Funerals

Balance Planned for Month End:  _______ $

 

Budget Plan Work Sheets

Many other examples of Budget Sheets can be found online by searching under IMAGES.  Use combinations of the following terms:  budget sheet household personal planner finances template .xls .pdf .doc

 

 

How to Deal With a Tax Audit

 

The Canada Revenue Agency decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the Tax office to meet with an auditor.

The CRA auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant life style, and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.  I’m not sure the Canada Revenue Agency finds that believable.’

‘I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa.  ‘How about a demonstration?’

The auditor thinks for a moment, and says, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’

Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’

The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

‘Want to go double or nothing?’  Grandpa asks.   ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so in desperation he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa’s attorney moans, and puts his head in his hands.

‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.

‘Not really,’ says the attorney.  ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!’


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